Words are so cheap. I very much dislike putting them on paper because it seems like they just stare back at me, laughing at my lame attempt to make them convey something in my heart. How do I then begin to communicate something, if these words I write will not perform the task I give? I don't feel like an artist with my tongue or pencil. Shall I allow only others to craft with these tools? There is a little voice inside of me that screams, "NO! Don't let them have all the fun!" There's also another voice simultaneously, equally as emphatic, which says, "Yes, but allow Jesus to write a poem with your life. He is the Artist and you the art."

Speed.

shoot.
life keeps on happening, regardless of how often or loudly i tell it to slow down.
relationships. work. school. schoolwork. i need to slow down. take a chill pill. can someone tell my brain to follow suit? can my life become slightly less intense? can i drop one or two things please?
i need jesus, that's it. period. my life is too much for me to handle alone. these thoughts are choppy, like my brain waves.
do we ask for this craziness in our speed-consumed culture, and then wonder why our lives don't smooth out? in our world of drive thru windows and atm machines are we actually the product of something we don't want?

take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to thee.

Close to home.

Heard of Relevant Magazine? It comes once every two months but I happened to check out the web site and came across an article titled Street Roots: The Voice of the Homeless. It caught my eye because it talks about Portland and our very own Powell's; more importantly, the man selling newspapers outside the door.
Check it out.

retrospect.

spring break turned out to be what i needed, thankfully. i only really accomplished one of the things on my list: sleep. i read about a chapter of schaeffer, had some good bible study (luke 8.16-18), got some homework done, but didn't get a chance to talk with Anna. however i did hang out with a couple individuals that i love: Abby and Mary Anne.
i've been feeling a little discouraged lately about my bus route because it has seemed like none of the kids come anymore... this week was beautiful because although only one girl came, the Straw family drove themselves to the 11am service. the parents are really good parents and it was awesome to see them come.
i appreciate how God brings us through seasons to prove again and again that He is enough. my life can get so wrapped up in agenda and the minute details that i forget that unless He is in those details it is worthless.
one of my favorite things is watching people be set free... its beautiful.

Ahh...

It's here, finally. Spring break. I'm smiling as I write this because I'm excited to be able to rest a little. I will be working about 30 hours this week but I have some goals:

1. Sleep

2. Finish How Then Should We Live by Francis Schaefer
3. Bust out a fair amount of homework
4. Have a phone conversation with my sister Anna
5. Spend some time in Bible study I haven't gotten to

Anything I should add to this list?

Faithful # 2

God has done it again. He has proven himself faithful.
School's first semester is over, and I am so thankful that God made a way for me to get stuff done on time. I didn't arrive at the end of the semester with backwork still to be done or the sad feeling that I could have done better. Oh the sweet feeling of accomplishment!
I'll now be working on campus with the custodial team, part time. It's really an answer to prayer... the only thing I'm struggling with is how I'll continue to work with the Stitches team and keep the relationships I've built with the families. How does he want this to work?
Icing on the cake: I got a call that someone gave an anonymous check towards my tuition today!

I'm reading the latest book by Rob Bell called Jesus Wants to Save Christians.

Sorrow

Some thoughts...
The words "weep with those who weep" have become real to me again this past week. A friend's father died and when I talked with her and her family I saw what a heartache they have and it broke my heart... I hate to see people in pain.
~
Maybe I've been sheltered, but it seems like I've had a lot of these kind of things happening around me in just the past few months. Is it the age (mine) when people begin to have issues around them?
~
I also realize the deep need for community in sorrow. One cannot grieve alone. I think if the body isn't who they need to be then God cannot fully bring healing because after all, we are His hands and feet.

Photos

Nicole, me and Tanya at the Vietnamese place they took me Friday for dinner.

Birthday fun and surprise party... I was forced to wear the headgear.